Building a Life Together? Make Sure the Law Doesn’t Tear It Apart

You’ve built a life with someone you love, shared a home, memories, maybe even bank accounts but here’s the kicker: if you’re not legally married, the law doesn’t see your relationship the way you do. That means if something happens to you, your partner could be shut out of your property, finances, or even decisions about your healthcare.

In this article, we’ll break down why unmarried couples face extra legal risks, the key steps you can take to protect each other, and how our Estate Planning Session process makes sure your wishes and your partner are honored, no matter what curveballs life throws.

The Risk of ‘I Do’ Without the Paperwork

When married couples face illness or death, the law automatically steps in with protections. But if you’re not married? The law treats your partner like a stranger unless you’ve spelled it out in writing.

Without a solid estate plan:

• Your partner can’t touch your bank accounts or pay bills if you’re incapacitated.

• They can be cut out of medical decisions, even if they’re the one who knows your wishes best.

• Your stuff could legally default to your blood relatives not your partner no matter how long you’ve been together.

Picture this: the house is in your name, you pass away without a plan, and suddenly your partner has no legal right to stay out on the street, even if they helped pay the mortgage for years.

And don’t bank on “common law marriage.” Rules vary wildly by state, and most couples don’t actually qualify. Translation: living together doesn’t give your partner rights under the law.

It’s unfair, it’s heartbreaking but it’s 100% avoidable. The right estate plan makes sure your partner has the authority, rights, and protection that love alone can’t guarantee.

Love Without a License: The Legal Must-Haves for Unmarried Couples

The good news? With the right planning, you can make sure your relationship is legally protected in all the ways that matter. Here are the tools we use in our Estate Planning process to keep unmarried couples safe:

1. Health Care Documents

Hospitals don’t care who you’ve lived with for 10 years, they look to next of kin. Without the right docs, your partner is out. A Health Care Power of Attorney gives them decision-making authority, and pairing it with a Living Will or Advance Directive makes sure your wishes are honored. Add a HIPAA Authorization so your partner isn’t left in the dark.

2. Financial Power of Attorney

If you’re incapacitated, bills and mortgages don’t wait. This document gives your partner the power to keep your financial life moving without a costly, time-sucking court process.

3. A Will or Trust

Without these, the law sends your assets to blood relatives, not your partner. A Will at least names who gets what, but it still forces your loved one through probate—a slow, public, expensive mess. A Trust skips court entirely, keeps things private, and ensures your partner is protected the way you want.

4. Property and Beneficiary Designations

If your accounts or deeds aren’t titled properly, your partner could get left out no matter what your Will says. Align designations with your plan, or risk undoing it all.

5. A Cohabitation Agreement

 Think of it as the prenup for unmarried life. It sets expectations around shared property, bills, and contributions, and ensures fairness if things change.

Without these protections, the law pretends your relationship doesn’t exist. With them, your partner is secure and your wishes are honored.

More Than Documents: Planning for Life & Love

Estate planning for unmarried couples isn’t just about who gets the house or the bank account, it’s about protecting the person you’ve chosen as your family. Without a plan, your partner could be left drowning in chaos, conflict, and expenses. With the right plan, they’ll know exactly what to do, when, and how backed with the guidance to make it as smooth as possible. The difference comes down to whether you’ve planned for more than just the legal paperwork.

When you work with me as your Personal Family Lawyer®, we’ll go beyond the basics and cover the practical and emotional pieces that matter most, like:

• A complete, updated asset inventory. Even the best legal docs fall apart if your partner can’t find your accounts or property. I’ll make sure nothing gets lost.

• An Interview. This is where you record your stories, values, and love so your partner has your voice and guidance long after you’re gone. It’s priceless.

• Real conversations with your loved ones. I’ll help you open up those tough discussions about medical care, funeral wishes, and your home so your partner doesn’t have to fight your family in court or guess what you would have wanted.

Because at the end of the day, a real plan isn’t just about assets, it’s about protecting love, dignity, and the life you’ve built together.

Protect the Life You’ve Built: Take the Next Step
If you and your partner aren’t married, estate planning isn’t optional, it’s essential. Without it, the person you love most could lose everything you’ve worked so hard for together. But with the right guidance, you can lock in legal protection, clarity, and peace of mind.

Here’s what working with me looks like:

• Get crystal-clear on what would happen if either of you were incapacitated or passed today.

• Put a plan in place that gives both of you real legal authority.

• Build and update an asset inventory so nothing slips through the cracks.

• Schedule ongoing reviews so your plan evolves with your life and relationship.

And here’s the best part: your partner will know exactly what to do and who to call, because I’ll already be in their corner.

📞 Book your 15-minute discovery call today and let’s protect your partner, your home, and the life you’ve built together.
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This article is a service of 20WestLegal LLC. We don't just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death for yourself and the people you love. That's why we offer a Planning Session, during which you will get more financially organized than you've ever been before and make all the best choices for the people you love. You can begin by calling our office in Sudbury, Massachusetts today to schedule an Estate Planning Session and mention this article to find out how to get this $750 session at no charge.

The content is sourced from Personal Family Lawyer® for use by Personal Family Lawyer® firms, a source believed to be providing accurate information. This material was created for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as ERISA, tax, legal, or investment advice. If you are seeking legal advice specific to your needs, such advice services must be obtained on your own separate from this educational material.